I’m Not Crazy; I’m a Christian
Kat Merrigan
Finish What You Start
I don’t know how things worked in your household, but my parents were huge proponents of finishing what you started. This was especially true when it came to food on your plate. Mom often liked to say something like, “Take all you want, but eat all you take.” She claimed it was a famous Army expression. Having never served in the military, I can neither confirm nor deny its validity. But we do have audio tape evidence of yours truly as a sweet little tyke announcing that, “I guess I don’t want any Spam®.” Without missing a beat, Dad responded in his firm, calm, loving manner, “You finish that Spam, Miss. All of it.” (I would try to describe to you what Spam is but mere words cannot do it justice. Suffice it to say it is a canned pork meat product that was quite popular in our home.)
The point is that my parents did not believe in wasting anything. I’m sure living through the Great Depression helped solidify their viewpoint. “Waste not want not” was another phrase frequently bandied about our home.
Their belief in finishing what you start extended beyond mealtime. Both my parents understood that your word was your bond. If you committed yourself to a team, activity, event, etc. you were obligated to follow through to the end. Knowing this I tried my best not to join everything all the time. I knew if I got involved in something on a whim and then later regretted it, I was stuck. I had to finish what I started. This wasn’t an absolute rule, of course. I was able to quit certain situations, but they were few and far between. I had to truly justify why I couldn’t continue. My answer couldn’t be that I simply didn’t like it or it wasn’t fun anymore.
I would like to say that with this solid upbringing I am adept at completing what I start. But I’d be lying. And you deserve better than that.
In my book I’m Not Crazy; I’m A Christian I wrote about how I have a nasty habit of self-sabotage. I actually started writing the book in 2008 but it wasn’t finished and published until 2021! To quote from Chapter 1:
…I moved back home and began a deep, intimate relationship with self-sabotage bonded in the unholy state of procrastination.
Why is it so hard to finish what we start?
I’ve given this a great deal of thought. For some of us, I think it stems from a combination of insecurity and self-sabotage. What do I mean? Well, when I start a writing project, there’s nothing but potential. There’s really only upside. I haven’t experienced any rejection yet. But once I’ve finished writing, editing, and publishing, then it’s real. It’s tangible. I’ll soon learn whether it was a hit or a miss. There will be undeniable proof one way or the other.
Sometimes we don’t want to finish what we start because we may have underestimated the enormity of the task, and we just don’t feel we can do it. Other times we’re just so overcome with emotions and stress that we feel overwhelmed and can’t go on.
Lest we forget there’s always my constant companion self-sabotage. I don’t know how many opportunities I may have missed along the way because I avoided tackling something in a timely manner. All too often my motto is: Why do something now that I can put off until tomorrow? The struggle is real.
When I was in my junior year of college my roommate would sit in awe as I crafted all kinds of papers at the last minute. Sure I’d been given the assignments days or weeks ahead of time. But my brain just didn’t fire on all cylinders until it was crunch time.
I will admit that as a writer sometimes it’s not a problem of procrastination, but rather a lack of inspiration. It’s hard to write something when you have no idea what to write. I would imagine the same is true for anyone in any creative or artistic endeavor. But that doesn’t let me off the hook for the countless times I just didn’t do it because I didn’t want to do it.
Why do we self-sabotage?
I’m not sure if it’s a conscious decision. I often think it’s a kind of bizarre defense mechanism shielding us from potential failure once again. Think about it. If I don’t submit something by its deadline, that’s why I didn’t get chosen or I didn’t get the reward or opportunity. It isn’t because I didn’t meet their qualifications or I wasn’t what they were looking for or they didn’t like or want me. I haven’t actually been rejected. I disqualified myself. I took myself out of the running. I didn’t have to process a loss. It’s this weird, safe place where we beat ourselves up a little for self-sabotaging but at the same time we feel a relief that it’s over. We don’t have to find out if we would’ve succeeded or failed. It’s this false sense of freedom, because we’re not free. We’re trapped in a cycle of starting but not finishing.
I have so many writing projects clogging up my hard drive. For me, finishing my first book was a way of breaking the cycle. One day I just started rereading all of my half and three-quarter finished plays, books, essays, etc. I said to myself, “Just finish one thing.” So I did. It wasn’t easy. I was so nervous. I still can’t believe I did it.
There is value and blessing in finishing what you start.
Don’t take my word for it. I always bring the receipts. All bible verses are the NIV version from biblegateway.com, emphasis added.
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. (Ecclesiastes 7:8)
Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. (2 Corinthians 8:11)
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
I am so grateful to the Lord for giving me the courage to finally stop the self-sabotage and procrastinate cycle in my writing life. I’ve even committed to a weekly blog post. This means I have to generate new content every single week! It’s not as easy as it looks. But I refuse to slack off.
Notice I put that I’ve stopped the cycle in my writing life. I won’t lie and say that I still don’t wrestle with self-sabotage and procrastination in other areas. I do. But I’m not as inclined to give in to those tendencies as I once did. Now that I’ve proven to myself that I can finish what I start, I feel more conviction when I start back pedaling. My episodes of procrastination are shorter and spread further apart.
I believe the key is to not be so hard on yourself. If you struggle with these issues, I think it’s normal. My best advice: pick something small. If there’s something you started that you can finish relatively easily and quickly, do that first. These small wins will begin to add up. Over time you may grow in faith and confidence that you can finish a bigger project.
I’ll leave you with this thought. It’s a verse that inspires me to keep pressing on:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7)
I believe you can finish what you start. You know how I know? You just finished reading this article.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Welcome To The Land Of Contradiction
Many years ago I proposed an idea for a skit. It was based on this concept of the Land of Contradiction. In the skit, a woman (probably played by me) would be sitting behind a computer with a headset on while loudly chewing gum. People would come in, state their name and the promise that God gave them or the dream they had. It might go a little something like this:
Service rep: (with a nasal tone) Good afternoon and welcome to the Land of Contradiction. Please state your name. (blows a bubble and pops it)
Man 1: (nervous and excited) Yes. Hi. My name is Frank Maloney and God told me that I’m going to own my own business.
Service rep: (continues blowing gum while clicking away at the keyboard) (looks up at the monitor) Uh huh. Malon. Malone. Maloney. Here you are. (continues reading what’s on the screen) Ok, so Mr. Maloney, it says here that you’re about to get fired and you’ll need to go on the unemployment. May I also recommend you consider downsizing your current living situation for the next um year or two or five? And um do you really need your car?
Man 1: (in shock) What?!!! But I don’t understand. God said that my business would be successful. How can this be happening? I…
Service rep: (cutting him off) Excuse me, sir. There is no need to get loud, OK? I’m just trying to do my job. (hands him a slip of paper) Now if you’ll please take this ticket to the window over there, we can get you checked out, OK? Thank you so much.
Man 1: (stunned, takes the ticket) But God said…
Service rep: I’m sure He did, sir. And we know He’s not a liar. But let me remind you once again that you are currently in the Land of Contradiction where our motto is if you can dream it, we’ll do our best to try to squash it. Have a nice day. Next!
(Man 1 walks off dejected as the next customer sits down with the service rep.)
Clearly this is a work of fiction, but the overall theme is relatable. You have a dream or deep desire in your heart. You know it’s not just a passing whim. Every time you think about it you get excited. You started doing your research. You’re willing to do the work to achieve the objective: the degree, the career goal, the new business, the new home, etc. You’ve learned not to share your dream or plan with just anyone. But you have a few close, vetted friends, family or colleagues that you trust. They’ve thrown their support into your venture as well. Surely all signs are pointing to “Yes” as the old Magic 8 Ball used to say if you shook it just right. (In my case, I typically got “Try again later” or “Outlook not so good”. I hated that thing. But I digress.)
You get fired up and bold and step out in faith into what you believe is your destiny or maybe even a calling. What happens next? You know. All hell breaks loose (figuratively speaking, or maybe literally in some cases).
You go to the bank for the small business loan that given your credentials should have been a cake walk and you’re turned down. (By the way, what exactly is a cake walk? I don’t know about you, but anytime I’m walking while holding a cake, it is anything but easy. I’m completely paranoid that I’m going to trip, or the cake is going to slide all around in the box and I’ll lose half the frosting on one side. It’s kind of a nightmare. But I digress.) Let’s take a different scenario: you’re up for a promotion. Your boss has hinted that it’s only a matter of time. You’ve got it locked down. Two days later you find out they promoted someone else. One last scenario (because these examples are really bumming me out): you’re about to close on a house, but the deal falls through. You may look up to the heavens and cry:
What is going on?! I’m so confused.
At this point the Welcome Wagon should arrive to announce that you are the newest visitor to the Land of Contradiction. That wagon should come equipped with lots of chocolate, ice cream or whatever comfort food works for you. You’re gonna need it.
What is this strange land where dreams are trampled on and hopes are tossed about in the whirlwind? It’s what I like to call the in-between. It’s the place between promise and fulfillment.
As a person of faith, I believe the Bible is the Word of God. The promises mentioned in it are for me. Take this one, for example:
(All quoted verses are from the NIV version on biblegateway.com.)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
That verse brings me comfort because I’m persuaded that it applies to us as much today as it did in Biblical times. It is for anyone who chooses to receive it as truth.
This is another verse that I hold dear:
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36)
Since we’re on the subject of having dreams and deep desires of our hearts, check this one out:
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 emphasis added)
With all this encouragement and hope, how do we end up in the Land of Contradiction?
The best way to answer that question is with the story of Joseph. His saga begins in Genesis 37. If you’re not familiar, Genesis is the first book of the Bible. I find it significant that Joseph’s story is told so early on within the text. Perhaps God knew that we might one day have moments of doubt and confusion whilst traversing the barren wasteland of the Land of Contradiction. Maybe He gave us this story to help us to endure the in-between.
I apologize up front because I can assure you I will butcher my retelling of Joseph’s life. To fully appreciate its worth, I strongly recommend you read it in its entirety at some point. But for now, here’s my best attempt to summarize. Joseph is the younger son of Jacob (aka Israel the father of the Israelites). He has one younger brother and many older brothers. His Dad favors him, even giving him a beautiful robe. (Fun fact: the Broadway show Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was based on this story. But I digress.)
Joseph is about 17 and probably had a little bit of attitude as teenagers do. One day he tells his brothers of a dream he had. In the dream, they were all binding sheaves of grain in the field. Joseph’s sheaf rose and stood upright. The other sheaves gathered around his and bowed down to it. This did not go over well with his brothers, as you might imagine. They already were jealous of him because he was the favorite. Now he tells them this dream where the symbolism is clearly that he’ll be ruling over them. They yelled at him and hated him even more.
You would think Joseph would learn his lesson and not share his dreams with them again. But he doesn’t. He has another one with similar imagery of him in charge and them bowing. Does he tell them? Of course he does! This time even his Dad got angry with him.
Poor Joseph, he couldn’t help himself. He was in the first phase: the promise. This is the euphoric time where you’re so excited by the new idea or venture. You want to share it with everyone. But not everyone is going to be for you. You should always be very careful with whom you share your dreams. And you should keep in mind that after the dream is born, you’re about to enter the in-between. Get your ticket for the Land of Contradiction ready. Your train is about to leave the station.
Joseph’s story goes on. His brothers want to kill him but then think better of it. They choose to throw him down a well instead. These fellas give a whole new meaning to the phrase family feud. They then sell him into slavery. Read that sentence again.
But no matter where he ends up, God continues to show favor on Joseph. He’s a slave but the head of the household promotes him to a high-ranking position. Of course, then the guy’s wife tries to seduce him. (Bet you didn’t know the Bible was this spicy.) He refuses, so she accuses him of assault. Poor Joseph is thrown into prison.
But God. Once again our boy Joseph is shown favor by the prison warden. He basically becomes second-in-command. While serving his sentence he meets the King of Egypt’s (Pharaoh’s) cupbearer and baker. They’re chatting one day, and the men reveal that they each had dreams but don’t understand them. Well, here comes Joseph to the rescue. He interprets their dreams. (Spoiler alert: one has a happy ending, the other…not so much.) Before they leave the prison, Joseph asks that they remember him to the king. They do not. Not right away.
Two years later, Pharaoh has multiple dreams that no one can interpret. The cupbearer remembers Joseph. Do you know what happens next? Joseph is brought before Pharaoh and interprets his dreams concerning seven years of prosperity followed by seven years of famine. Joseph gives Pharaoh instructions of how to prepare during the abundant years for ample storehouses during the years of famine.
Here comes God’s favor again. Joseph is appointed to lead this massive operation. He’s given a high-ranking office, second only to Pharaoh himself. It might seem like Joseph has left the Land of Contradiction and is living in his fulfillment phase, but the story doesn’t end there.
A time comes when his brothers arrive to purchase grain from Pharaoh’s storehouses. They are brought to Joseph, only they don’t recognize him. But he remembers them. They even bow before him (just as in his dreams). He does mess with them a little bit before revealing his true identity. You can read that for yourself.
The point of my sharing this story is that there is a space between promise and fulfillment. There is a season of the in-between. You probably will do some time in the Land of Contradiction. But there are lessons we can learn, maturing that can take place, humbling and refining of character that can happen.
Dare I say, in order to truly live the dream, we may need the Land of Contradiction?
If you read the full story, you’ll see how God used every circumstance, every disappointment, and every setback in Joseph’s life to bring him to his place of fulfillment. He loves you just as much. Can you dare to believe that He’ll be with you through every twist and turn from promise to fulfillment?
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28, emphasis added)
I’m not saying the in-between is easy. The Land of Contradiction has many mountains and valleys. It’s steep, rough terrain. The weather is unpredictable. The resources may be scarce. But you don’t have to stay there forever. And you have the best Guide navigating you through it all.
Dare to dream. Dare to hope. Dare to pursue.
Dare to believe.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Your Life Will Never Fit In A Box
Have you ever relocated or helped someone else with a move? To say it’s a physically, emotionally, and even spiritually draining task is an understatement. I recall the times when I would be packing up to come home from college for the summer. I was convinced that my stuff had somehow multiplied ten-fold during the nine months or so I was on campus. My parents drove a very small car at the time (a light blue Mercury Lynx hatchback, I believe), so the look on my Dad’s face as he’d survey the myriad of boxes and bags was always priceless. But Pops was an electrical engineer and a genius. He would always figure out a way to pack it all up and still leave room for us. Sure I was squashed between my bedding and my shoe bag, but still it all fit. I was genuinely impressed. Apparently, that gene skips a generation because I’m often challenged just trying to find room in my car for my groceries.
Several years after graduation, I moved into my first apartment. It was time to pack everything up again, except this time I was also taking furniture. My Dad’s little car wasn’t going to hold all the stuff this time. I believe we rented a small truck and with some help I was off. That was a major life transition. In college I always had the option to come home for a weekend or during breaks. Technically, I still lived at home. This was different. Now I had a new address. Sure I came back home for Sunday dinners, but I didn’t live there anymore. It was bittersweet–thrilling and sort of scary at the same time.
Speaking of scary, about 15 years later, after three apartments and associated moves, I needed to go back to my childhood home. I was now in my early 40s and the whole experience was quite humbling and strange. (That’s fodder for another article down the road, perhaps.) I stayed in the main house for about a year and then moved into the attached apartment. I’ve been there ever since. But now times are changing again, and another move is on the horizon.
In the past, before I packed up, I would always take time to go through all my stuff in the hopes of paring down and consolidating things. By the second or third move, I took a serious look at everything and noticed that I kept bringing some stuff from place to place to place. The problem was I never unpacked it or used it. Has that ever happened to you? You see a box filled with memorabilia or clothes or whatever that you’ve been toting from location to location, but you never seem to use any of it. The box (or boxes in my case) either ends up in a paid storage facility or discreetly stashed in your new home.
Just how many times can you move the same box before you realize it’s time to let it go?
Sometimes it’s hard to part with what’s in that box. It may be something of sentimental value, perhaps something given to you or left by a loved one. You hate to get rid of it, but you have no practical use for it, so it stays in the box. And you carry that box to the next home…and the next.
I’m currently going through literally everything I have as I prepare for this next, great move. I know there will be boxes that haven’t been opened since I first stepped foot into this apartment. Will I have the courage to part with them this time? Will I be able to be dispassionate and separate my sentimentality from practicality? I’m not sure.
One advantage of technology is that should I decide to finally part with anything, I can always take a picture of it as a memento. That will only take up memory on my phone, rather than real estate in my home. And it will certainly be cheaper than a monthly storage rental fee. But going through this natural process has got me thinking on a deeper level about how it parallels with what we carry in our hearts and minds.
What stuff are you holding on to that’s cluttering up your life?
I don’t know about you, but I’m becoming very aware that there is a huge box of emotional stuff that I’ve been carrying with me throughout my whole life. Past hurts, disappointments, and rejections all in a box just taking up space in my heart. I don’t go into that box; it’s buried deep down and out of sight. But it’s still there. No matter where I go, and no matter how I move on in life, it comes with me. I carry it into the next chapter. It’s a heavy box, but I’m so used to bringing it with me, I don’t notice its weight anymore. The older I get though, the harder it is to find room for it. I’ve got all these other life experiences: career achievements, friendships, family, faith, and they deserve their rightful place. So what do I do with that unopened box?
Perhaps it’s time to tackle my emotional stuff box and go through it just as I would a box filled with college textbooks. I can take pictures of the memories I want to keep, but the rest has got to go. But why would I want to take a mental picture of a hurt, disappointment, or rejection, you may rightly ask. Sometimes it’s important to keep a small reminder of what you’ve overcome and just how much you’ve grown. Mind you, I’m not buying a special frame for those pictures. You surely won’t find them proudly displayed on the mantelpiece. They’ll still be tucked away, but they won’t weigh nearly as much as they once did. And I’ll have so much more room for all the wonderful things yet to come.
Am I suggesting this is an easy thing to do? Absolutely not. Am I saying that if you choose not to open your box today that somehow you’re failing or missing the mark? Not at all. Honestly, I don’t know that I’ll even be able to do that in my own life, so I’m certainly not going to judge anyone else.
What I know is that there is value in unpacking those things that no longer serve us, regardless of our emotional attachment to them. I also believe that we can do this, however difficult it may be and however long it takes, because the Bible says this:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13 NKJV, biblegateway.com, emphasis added)
Each life is so rich with events and memories that it can never fit in a box. If I don’t have a lot of material possessions when my time comes to go home to be with the Lord, who cares? That’s not the sum total of my life. That’s not me at all. We are so much more than the things we own. We are so much more than all the stuff. We shouldn’t hope to be remembered for the car we drove or the home we owned or even the career we had. I’m not against hard work and achievement. But I want to be remembered for how I loved and cared about others, how I used any talents God gave me to bless other people. I want to be known as someone who wasn’t afraid to express her faith and did her best to “walk-the-walk”. I want someone to smile and laugh a little when they think of me. Most of all I want them to remember that I always had room for more love and more connection in my heart.
How do you want to be remembered?
Today let’s commit to start sorting through some of our unopened boxes and making room for all the great and beautiful things God still has in store for each and every one of us.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Are You Built For Change?
Nope, not so much.
How about you?
It’s not that I believe all change is bad. I’ve gone through many life changes over my 53 years here on earth. I never kept a tally because I’m not a statistician. But if I did, I think the positive changes would outweigh the negative, and not by a small margin. I’m also fairly certain my story isn’t unique.
So why do most of us fight change?
Change is pretty inevitable after all. Even when things are relatively stable, we are changing. What do I mean? Well, let’s just say that the way my mind and body worked when I was in my 20s is not quite the same way as it works (when it chooses to work) in my 50s. Is it just me?
Our lives are bombarded with varying degrees of change. It can be something relatively insignificant as when a store or restaurant we’ve loved for a long time closes. It can also be something literally life-altering as when you go to work only to find out it’s your last day of employment there.
Sadly, I’ve lived through that a few times over the years. I was in a job I either loved or didn’t, but the decision to no longer work there was made for me not by me. Perhaps I’ve just stumbled on why we fight change. Could it be that our problem isn’t necessarily with the change itself, but rather with its timing? Think about it. You’re working at a job that you absolutely can’t stand. Deep down you want to leave, but you’ve decided it’s not the best time or you’re afraid you won’t get a comparable position with similar salary, benefits and vacation. One day you’re called into a conference room and within a few short sentences, typically delivered by a human resources rep with a shiny binder and your packet in hand, it’s all over. You walk out unemployed. Just like that.
Every time I was let go from a job I was pretty devastated. Even though that very morning I might have been dreading stepping foot through the doorway of the building, nevertheless it was a guaranteed paycheck. Now it was gone. What do I do?
The mind can race when faced with change. Whether we realize it or not, we tend to run on auto-pilot in certain areas of life. We get up, go to work or school, and come home. The next day, we do the same thing. It’s almost automatic. Have you ever gotten to your job but couldn’t remember your commute there? That’s a little scary. You’re grateful you arrived safely, but you couldn’t tell anyone how you did it. It’s second nature. You don’t think about it. But what happens when you don’t have that commute anymore because you lost that job?
My brain almost short circuits when I’m confronted with an unexpected change. I have a tendency to overthink, as I confessed in my recent post Overthink. Overreact. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. My mind goes into a bit of a tailspin. Sometimes it just shuts down. I find myself lying in bed with the covers pulled up to my neck, mindlessly watching something on television. I don’t want to think about this new unknown. I want to escape it at all costs.
But we really can’t escape change, can we?
We can avoid it for awhile, but at some point we need to face it. We need to deal with it. We may even need to sort of embrace it. This is when we start reminding ourselves of how unhappy we were in the situation before the change came. As we shift our focus to remembering only the negative, we may begin to feel a bit stronger and the fear of change may lessen.
We want to feel safe and secure. It’s a core desire within us, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Some people enjoy adventures and trying new things, but they decide how much risk they’re willing to take. Someone who enjoys rock climbing may not want to water ski because they’re not comfortable on the water. Everyone chooses an acceptable level of risk.
When I graduated from college (the first time), I had no desire to work in Manhattan, even though I knew I could make way more money and have better opportunities for success. The risk was too big for this girl from Long Island. So, I stayed local and built a good, safe life.
I don’t regret my decisions, but sometimes I wonder if I was built more for change how my life would have turned out. It’s interesting that the older I’m getting (and I am getting older), the more risk I’m willing to consider taking. I’m not bear hugging every change that comes my way, but I’m slowly learning to not freak out completely. Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t like change as a general rule. I guess I’m just developing a slightly higher acceptable risk threshold.
What about you? Are you more or less accepting of change than you were when you were younger?
What has truly helped me deal with change is my faith. When I started believing that God cares for and about me, it started reframing my thinking. Certain verses help remind me of His love and caring. Perhaps they’ll help you as well. (All verses were from the NIV version on biblegateway.com.)
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6, emphasis added)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11, emphasis added)
In case you were wondering if you could believe these verses, check this out:
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8, emphasis added)
God is not human, that He should lie, not a human being, that He should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19, emphasis added)
I’ll close with this: change is coming to all of us. I’ve got some major changes on my horizon. If I think too much about them, I can start down that familiar path of tailspin and short circuit. But if I shift my focus to God and that He is with me, and if I pray for wisdom to navigate through the changes, I am comforted.
As I stated earlier, when I look back I see how many unexpected changes I thought would crush me served only to promote me and bring me closer to a dream or desire in my heart. God is really good that way. He does have a plan for you. Believe that and ask Him for guidance. Perhaps in time we can both state that we are built for change.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Zip Your Lip!
To speak, or not to speak, that is the question.
Yes, that opening line was inspired by Shakespeare’s Hamlet. I’m a drama queen, remember? In the play Hamlet is contemplating whether “to be, or not to be” as in whether to live or die. My topic is perhaps somewhat less existential. I’m only talking about the power of our words, or as the Bible put it, the power of the tongue. But do our words have the ability to create or destroy, to make something live or die?
Take a moment and think of the kindest words that were ever spoken to or about you. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
How did that just make you feel? Did you find yourself smiling? Perhaps you felt a bit warm inside. Maybe your shoulders even dropped a little as your body relaxed. You might have felt a bit energized, or a bit calmer. But chances are you felt something upon remembering those words. Could it be that you feel a little better or, dare I write it, even happier?
Now, this is the tough part. Take a moment and think of the meanest, most hurtful words that were ever spoken to or about you. Go ahead. I’ll wait. And I’ll keep the tissues ready, if you need them. I know I usually do.
How did that feel as you recalled hearing someone call you names or make fun of you or simply degrade or dismiss you? Did your heart start to beat a little faster? Did your mouth get a little dry? Perhaps you felt your neck getting stiff as your shoulders tightened with stress. I’m fairly certain you don’t feel the same way you did after remembering the kindest words. And that makes perfect sense.
Our words have tremendous power.
As I did some prep work for this piece, I was reminded of how many Bible verses are dedicated to this topic. The overriding theme in many of them is that it is often best to not speak at all. (Note: All Bible references are from the NIV version on biblegateway.com.)
Here are just a couple of examples:
Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)
If you’re like most of us, you’ve experienced bullying. It’s a horrible fact of life. In my first book, I’m Not Crazy; I’m A Christian, I discussed my own story with bullying. I was never physically attacked, but the verbal scars were still painful. In junior high school, I sharpened my weapon: my tongue. I could cut you ten different ways with just a few precision insults designed for maximum impact. Sadly, I was both bullied and bully. I liken it to a trickling down effect. I was hurting, so I found someone else to hurt. It was so wrong and yet so strangely normalized in that setting. Nearly everyone did it in some form, except for those who were lowest on the social ladder.
I remember visiting a childhood friend one evening. We were both now in our twenties. We stood in her kitchen remembering our pain and the pain we caused others. We both started to cry, not for ourselves, but for those kids that we turned our attention toward. Mind you, I confronted those who bullied me. In some classes, it was a veritable verbal boxing match every day. But I also did tease those who were “guilty” of just being different and an easy target. I told myself I wasn’t so bad because I never hurt anyone. In fact I was nice to them…until they walked away or left the room. Then I would laugh with my friends about the clothes they had worn that day, or the way they talked or whatever trivial nonsense I could dissect. But no matter how hard I tried to rationalize or justify it, it was wrong. In those moments I was a “mean girl”. I’ve had to acknowledge that and ask God for forgiveness for my actions.
This is the part where I write how I learned my lessons at 14 and went on to never use my words deliberately to hurt another person again, right? Wrong. This isn’t a movie or TV show where everything gets tied up in a pretty little bow at the end. With a lot of years of dedicated prayer and effort, I’ve learned to pull back some before a full-scale verbal attack, but that doesn’t happen every time.
Why is it so hard to just zip your lip? In James Chapter 3 of the Bible the tongue is compared to a bit in a horse’s mouth that turns the animal, or the rudder of a ship (vs. 3-4).
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:3-8, emphasis added)
That is a serious paragraph. I suggest you read it again. I don’t know about you, but it actually gives me a strange comfort as I realize that my struggle is not necessarily unique. Our human nature is prone to great acts of selfishness, cruelty, and even downright evil. Without God’s help, I know I’m capable of the absolute worst behavior. I am no good to myself or anyone else. But with God I can do better. I can be better. We’re not hopeless. Those kind words that were spoken over you were true. Those mean, awful words were not how God sees you. They don’t have to define you.
As I said it has taken me many years and missteps (or misspeaks) to get where I am today. The work isn’t done. It is a daily commitment that is particularly challenging when I’m put in contentious situations. Remember, my defense mechanism wasn’t physical strength, it was verbal annihilation. So even now, if I feel threatened in some way, I’m ready to lash out, not with fists but with words that will leave emotional scars that may never heal.
There will come a day when we will be held accountable for the life we lived here and the words we said. Don’t believe me? Great. Check this out:
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgement for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:36-37)
Told you the Bible was serious about this whole power of the tongue thing! If I stop and think of all the “empty” words I’ve spoken in the last five minutes alone, I get chills. I can’t even imagine having to face a lifetime’s worth of them. With that in mind, I certainly don’t want to keep racking up more empty words to add to my tally.
There. Is. Hope.
God is so good. He never leaves us without resources to help us make the most of our time here.
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. (1 Peter 3:10)
There’s the goal. But how do we hope to achieve it? Check this out:
Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:3)
I love this verse. It is an eloquent way to say, “Lord, zip my lip.” I can testify that when I have asked for help in this area, He does give it. Sometimes I’ve literally choked on the words that I was all prepared to say that were shoved back down for my protection. It’s not easy. But, as I often write, it is possible with God.
I asked at the beginning of this piece: do our words have the ability to create or destroy, to make something live or die? I’ll close with this verse. You can decide for yourself.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
Remember, sometimes zippers get stuck or rusty, so if you’re like me give yourself some grace as you learn to speak life.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Overthink. Overreact. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
If you’re a fan of classic Broadway musicals like me, you may remember the famous show South Pacific. There’s a song titled, “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair”. The main character sings about how she’s going to rid herself of this man and any feelings of love just as easily as washing her hair. The theme of the song is that if it’s not working out, dump him. Spoiler alert: try though she may, she isn’t able to merely shampoo, condition, and towel dry that love away. Life is usually more complicated than a simple declaration. It often takes more than platitudes and verbal affirmations to effect change, especially where matters of the heart are concerned.
It can be particularly challenging if you have the tendency to overthink to the point of distraction. If I added up all the time I’ve spent in almost obsessive thought about a situation or relationship, I’m fairly certain the sum total would be a few extra months…or years that I’ve wasted. I noted in my first book I’m Not Crazy; I’m A Christian that one of my good friends pointed out that I need to stop trying to write everyone’s dialog. Call it an occupational hazard. As a writer, I am inclined to envision the “right” way things should go. When they inevitably go a different way, or I don’t get the outcome I desire, I’m devastated.
Let’s suppose I’m having a disagreement with someone. There is the actual argument which may only last a few minutes. But that’s not where the story ends. Oh no, the party is just getting started. I will then spend the next several hours…days…weeks parsing over every detail. In my mind, I will review the exchange as if I’m the head coach studying game day footage. I’ll use slo-mo, freeze frame, and hit rewind so much that the button takes on the exact contours of my fingertip.
In essence, I perform a complete forensic examination of the corpse of the conversation. I may even call in reinforcements to evaluate my findings and see if they concur with my assessment. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post “Where Did I Leave That Lasso Of Truth?”, I have this overwhelming, sometimes paralyzing need to understand why. I am not one who can easily accept that I may never know, and move forward with or without that information.
I get stuck.
Have you ever been there? You’re dissecting every sentence, every word trying desperately to remember every subtle tonal inflection or other non-verbal expression. It’s exhausting! What’s worse is that it rarely, if ever, adds anything valuable or helpful to the situation.
On the contrary, after this thorough investigation, I usually come away more upset or amped up. I do believe there’s a time and place for venting. The problem is that sometimes all this venting doesn’t take the pressure off; it just turns up the heat. As I retell the saga to someone new, I’m immersed in it again. My anger or hurt grows instead of shrinks. I often end up feeling worse than I did at the time the event first took place. Not helpful. I need to get rid of these feelings. Venting didn’t work, so clearly the next logical step is to take some time and process everything. Do my best to put it aside and come back to it after a day or more. Give my emotions time to be tempered. That makes sense, right?
Except, I hardly ever do that.
Once I’m fired up, there is a high likelihood that I’m going to retaliate. I need that last word. I need that “closure”. I need that person to know the full extent of what he or she has done. This is the day of their reckoning. Self-control has left the building.
These are the times and moments when I find it hard to lean into my faith. Why? The Bible says this:
The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. (Romans 8:7 NIV, biblegateway.com)
What does that mean? Well, put simply, if I’m permitting my emotions and feelings to run the show, I’m in trouble. I devoted a whole chapter to this subject in my book. But as I always say, I am a resident expert on absolutely nothing, so I encourage you to not just take my word for it. This is why I include scripture. Another verse states this:
Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:8 NIV, biblegateway.com)
A classic image is that of an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel is trying to steer the person to make the right decision. The devil is trying to lead them astray. It’s a bit of an oversimplification, but the principle is still valid. Many times we are in a kind of mental war. The phrase the battlefield of the mind is used to describe it. We are in conflict between satisfying our immediate desires for revenge, retaliation, etc., and choosing a different, healthier path. This alternate path often requires some sacrifice or denial on our part. It typically will not give us that instant release or temporary gratification. It may mean showing forgiveness where it isn’t deserved or simply letting go. Let me be clear, I am not advocating for giving anyone a free pass if they’ve done harm to you. You do not excuse, but you choose to separate and move forward. This may not be easy. This probably won’t happen in a day. It takes work, but your mental health and well-being are worth the time. You are worth it!
As a Christian, I am learning how to activate self-discipline in this area. The Bible says:
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV, biblegateway.com)
With the help of the Lord, we can get a hold of ourselves. But we must be willing to do that. If I’m being honest, I fight back. I want to run with my thoughts. Overthink. Overreact. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It’s never because this particular formula produces the best results. Absolutely not! If anything, it complicates the complicated and escalates a minor issue into a full-on conflict. But there is something in me (my flesh) that will rise up every single time and try to take control.
I’m grateful for the progress I’ve made. I thank God that though I still overthink, I am learning to not always go to that next level and overreact. We’re all works-in-progress. We should appreciate that the Master Builder is patient with us. He sees the beauty in us, despite our flaws. He will nurture that in you, I promise. It is a process. It will take time. You may not get immediate satisfaction, but that’s a temporary, fleeting thing. It’s often later replaced with regret or a feeling of emptiness because it wasn’t what you really needed.
I’ll leave you with this verse:
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NIV, biblegateway.com)
Perfect peace when your mind is focused on trusting God. It’s easier said than done. But it is possible. I encourage you to give it a try. What have you got to lose? Plus, zero chance of getting shampoo in your eye.
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
I Will Turn This Hat Around!
Spring always means a few things for me – flowers blooming, my allergies booming, and spending most of my spare time on a cold, metal bleacher watching baseball, my throat sore from all the cheering. Full disclosure: sometimes it’s not all cheering. I have, on occasion, disagreed with an umpire’s call and made my feelings known on the subject…loudly.
But I digress.
I’ve followed my nephew from his early days in the sport right up to his current college team. There are moments when I see him out on the field and I’m instantly taken back to when he was just a 10-year-old kid. His intensity, his focus, his drive was apparent even then. Now he has the physical strength and skill to match all that initial potential. It is such a wonderful, bittersweet moment seeing the boy (now a man) honing and using his God-given talent with great success.
I look forward to each home game and do whatever I can to insure that I will be in my seat when play begins. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been a part of this “world” for many years. I come prepared with: snacks, water, blankets, gloves, umbrella, sweatshirt or jacket, because I know that for the next 3-4 hours, I’m not going anywhere. I can’t. No, seriously, I firmly believe that once I’m in my spot, I cannot leave until the game is over. Dehydration becomes a genuine concern though. I’m hesitant to consume too many liquids because that could mean having to leave my spot to use the facilities. That simply cannot happen, so I drink less and slowly dry up from the inside out.
Recently, I’ve come to realize that I’m a bit superstitious when it comes to baseball. Now I’ve heard that a lot of players are very superstitious, regardless of their religious affiliation. If they have an amazing day, they will do anything and everything to try and duplicate it. This could range from the benign: a pre-swing series of moves such as adjusting the helmet and batting gloves, kicking the dirt, etc.; to the disturbing: not washing certain socks or undergarments because they’ve been deemed “lucky”. You know what’s not lucky? Being stuck anywhere near the stench emanating from those items. There is absolutely nothing lucky about that!
I was never an athlete. I always loved volleyball, but never played on a school team. I was drawn more to the arts and entertainment. (Shocking, right?) I was the band geek, the drama queen, the chorus member. I’m also a person of faith. (Shocking too, right? Don’t worry, I’m getting somewhere with all this stating of the seemingly obvious.) The point is that I wasn’t raised in the sports culture of luck and superstition, so why do I have it now as a fan? And just how bad am I?
I have a cap I got from when I visited Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. I usually wear it when I go for a run. I don’t know when it started, but one day I was feeling particularly exhausted and still had a ways to go. I didn’t want to stop and walk, so I turned my cap around and kept going. The weirdest thing happened. I felt energized. I guess it could be called mind over matter, but that symbolic gesture just gave me that extra push.
From that day to the present, whenever I start to feel myself fading or losing stamina, I will turn that hat around, and something happens. I suddenly get very intense and focused, determined to finish my run. Mind you, I look rather silly with the cap on backwards, but I don’t care. It gives me this odd sense of power and assurance.
So one day I’m watching my nephew and his team play, and I’m wearing this cap. The game is tied up and they’re going into extra innings. It’s been a battle from the start, so the crowd (mostly me) is amped up. I want to do something to help the team. Sure, I’m cheering them on, but what else can I do? I’ve got it! I’ll turn this hat around. And so I did. And they won!
I thanked the Lord for being with them, keeping them safe and giving them the opportunity to enjoy the victory. But I also set a mental precedent. I must always have the cap with me. And I must always be prepared to turn that hat around when the team needs it.
Yes, you read that correctly. I, Kat, a woman of faith actually began to believe that my wearing a specific cap backwards somehow affected the outcome of a collegiate sporting event! My belief was further validated during another game. The team was down, so I turned that hat around. Boom. Victory.
Now deep down I know that this ritualistic behavior has no impact. But that has not stopped me. I don’t want to take any chances. The one time I might leave that hat home and they lose, a part of me would wonder if in some small way it was my fault. As I write that, I realize just how goofy it sounds. There’s nothing rational about it. It makes no sense.
In fact, the last two times I deployed this winning “strategy” of mine, the team proceeded to lose anyway. With that undeniable evidence in front of me, you would think I’d stop. But I can assure you that cap will be in my bag for the next game.
My example may seem a bit silly, and it is. But it got me thinking about how many other habits, rituals, or superstitions am I unwittingly employing in my life? The hat thing hasn’t hindered me in any real way, but there can be unhealthy behaviors that might consume us if we don’t recognize, acknowledge, and address them.
One of the most interesting things about being in a relationship is when you do something that seems perfectly normal to you and your family, but your partner looks at you like you have two heads. Those are your habits, your learned behaviors. For example, I often use a knife and fork to eat my pizza. Some people find this crazy. These are also the same people later spewing expletives as the hot cheese drips down their face scalding their mouth and chin. I graciously pass them my water and continue blowing on my cut slice nestled safely on my fork. I then partake of its tastiness while remaining second-degree burn-free.
Is there any Biblical foundation for rituals?
In the Old Testament, the Ten Commandments were given by God to Moses for the people of Israel. These were specific guidelines, rules and regulations for proper conduct. In addition, there were very explicit instructions provided for performing sacrificial rituals, sin offerings and so forth. This was the time of the Law, the precursor to Jesus. When Jesus came, He said that His was a New Covenant. Now instead of rituals and animal sacrifices, because of Jesus’s death and resurrection, everyone has the opportunity to reunite and reconnect with the God who made them, if they so choose. The New Testament’s emphasis is much more on relationship rather than ritual.
As I see it, the trouble with rituals is that you tend to lose a conscious connection. Over time, you may no longer know the why of the what. Why do you do what you do? In the case of small things: like my cap or even how you roll up a tube of toothpaste, there’s little chance of serious harm or detriment. But when it comes to bigger topics: how you treat people, how you treat yourself, your core values, it can become serious. Operating out of a ritualistic or superstitious mindset (this is what we’ve always done, I’ve always been this way, I don’t know why I just do it like that) may have a significant impact on your life and the lives of those around you.
The cap situation (Cap-gate if you will) has given me a chance to reflect and address other superstitions or ritualistic behaviors and habits I may hold. You might find this exercise productive as well. I pray that God shows both you and me any areas that need adjustment, so we can keep our head on straight, regardless of which way our cap is facing.
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Where Did I Leave That Lasso Of Truth?
As a child of the 70s and early 80s, I was raised on action comics and cartoons. My older brother was a huge fan of the Marvel™ and DC™ universes. As his baby sister, desperate for his attention and any opportunity to not get kicked out of his room, I immersed myself into all things superhero-related. I was then allowed access to the inner sanctum (my brother’s bedroom) provided I didn’t talk too much. Yeah, I still got kicked out a lot.
But over time I grew to really enjoy these characters and their adventures. I admired the powers of Superman, the sarcastic wit of Spiderman, the brute strength of the Hulk. The Fantastic Four, The Justice League, Batman and Robin (and Batgirl) – I loved them all. I was, however, particularly drawn to two characters, one from each franchise interestingly enough: Sue Storm/Richards aka the Invisible Girl (Marvel™) and Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman (DC™).
Sue had the ability to make herself disappear, hence the whole Invisible Girl title, obviously. I wanted that so much. It wasn’t like I didn’t want anyone to see me, but to be able to slip in and out of rooms and situations without being noticed seemed so cool to me. I wanted access to secret conversations, closed door meetings, back room dealings, and every other cliché imaginable. I wanted to know the truth.
Of course, no one could get to the truth better than Wonder Woman. As a side note, she too had invisibility powers. She had an invisible jet. I must say that always just seemed downright dangerous to me. Her plane was invisible! This means that no one, including pilots, birds, etc could see it! Am I the only one who envisioned some catastrophic in-flight incident? And when they’d go to check the black box that records everything, that wouldn’t help because her plane is invisible! Picture it – the aircrew is flying along minding their own business when suddenly WHAM! They’re in a tailspin, calling in a mayday, people are screaming, oxygen masks are dropping from the ceiling; it’s chaos. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman in her invisible plane jumps out to safety. She’d even probably have to stop the other plane from crashing into the ocean or a nearby mountain. Then as the saved passengers take turns thanking her for rescuing them, someone asks, “What happened?” The bewildered pilot replies, “I don’t know. We hit something. But there was nothing there. I swear. There was nothing there.” Wonder Woman might have to beat a hasty retreat at that point.
But I digress.
What I wanted more than anything was Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth. If you don’t know, she would literally throw this golden rope around someone and they would be forced to tell her the truth. I want that! Can you imagine the possibilities? I’m not speaking of doing something nefarious with it like using it to get the combination to a safe loaded with gold bullion or anything. I’m talking about preventing someone from lying. Just think how different things would be in this world if, for example, politicians and people in power were tied up with that beautiful, golden thread and made to speak only the truth.
Sadly, my dream of having a lasso of truth was never realized. But what I learned from reading the Bible is that there is a belt of truth. Don’t believe me? Good. Don’t take my word for it; check out the verse:
- Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. (Ephesians 6:13-15 NIV, biblegateway.com, emphasis added)
We’ve got access to a belt of truth! But one may ask, “Whose truth? Yours? Mine?” Believe it or not, there are objective, universal truths. These form the foundation of society, of its morals and conduct. Though the current trend seems to be to move away from objective truth and embrace more subjective ones, which by extension means relying more on emotions or opinions rather than facts, the Bible defines truth in this verse:
- Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John14:6 NIV, biblegateway.com, emphasis added)
Does this mean that I’m supposed to wear a Jesus belt buckle?
No, it does not.
The Word of God, the Bible, is where the Truth is found. It’s where you can learn about God and His Son Jesus. You can then choose whether or not to invite Him into your life, your heart. The choice is always yours. What I can assure you of is that should you choose to make that commitment, He can then send the Holy Spirit. This is an absolute game-changer. The Holy Spirit is the greatest superpower there is. I often give the warning to others that lies don’t last too long around me. With the help of the Holy Spirit, the truth always comes out. The best part is that it usually happens with little to no effort from me. Some might even call it divine intervention. I just call it my secret weapon. But that’s a subject for another time.
Hope you enjoyed this post, and remember, don’t go out without your belt buckled. And stay away from invisible planes, if you can. Of course, they’re invisible, so how can you avoid them?
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
My Only Wisdom Has A Cavity
Welcome to the site. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you taking some time to visit. When it was suggested I write a blog, my first thought was:
Do we really need another blog?
That’s a fair question, no? I actually had a similar thought before I started writing my book I’m Not Crazy; I’m A Christian some 13 years ago. Did I really have anything to say? Would anyone actually want to read it? Would it help anyone who did read it? But then, as now, there was this overwhelming desire that I just couldn’t shake.
In the case of the book, I started and stopped writing many times over the next decade. Finally, when I had poured out all my ramblings, I began the process of organizing them into some sort of cohesive narrative that I hope you enjoy.
My favorite writing style is this conversational one that I’m using here and I used throughout the book. I like feeling as if we’re sitting together just having a good chat and, hopefully, some laughs. And if there’s a cupcake or cookie, well then I’m really, really satisfied. I’m a simple gal. It doesn’t take much to make me happy.
What would make me truly happy is if you and I can connect here. I want this site to become a platform for healthy conversations about life—the good, the bad, and the ugly of it. As a Christian, I believe the Bible is the guidebook for our lives. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend you do. If you even start with the book of Proverbs, you’ll soon see how much wisdom is contained in it. Don’t believe me? Well, here’s how the book begins:
The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for gaining wisdom and instruction;
for understanding words of insight; for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,
doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to those who are simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young—let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings
and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
That’s the biggest spoiler alert ever! It gives the whole plot away! But whether you believe it or not, and whether you read it or not, you’re welcome here. I think we could all benefit from more humor and honest conversation.
In that spirit, as my title states, my only wisdom has a cavity. It’s a fact. Three of my wisdom teeth chose never to make an appearance. The one that did went bad. Because my mind thinks the way it does, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was some natural expression of a supernatural truth. Whatever little wisdom I may take credit for is…well…rotten. Thankfully, because I’ve read Proverbs, I learned this valuable lesson:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and depart from evil.
(Proverbs 3:5-7 NKJV, biblegateway.com)
Don’t be wise in your own eyes.
What a simple statement that holds so much truth. I don’t know about you, but many are the times that I think I know the whole picture, or I know I’ve got it all figured out. When I inevitably learn that I was wrong, it’s quite humbling. In this season of my life I am learning not to lean on my own understanding. When my mind races to solve a problem, I have to pause. I have to breathe. I have to consider that there might be more going on than what I know in that present moment. I might not have all the information. The intel I gathered (because now I’m a covert ops specialist, apparently) could be wrong. My sources might not be the most reliable.
But I’m sure you never have that happen to you. You’ve never gone off on a mission (again, because we’re spies now) only to see that mission fail, spectacularly. And there’s the collateral damage to consider. The unintended consequences of us being wise in our own eyes. Our choices may end up hurting others as well as ourselves.
That’s why I’m trying now more than ever to make sure I’m getting my marching orders straight from HQ. (I don’t know how I got on this militaristic theme, but we’re here.) For me, that involves giving what I think I know over to God and asking for His input. I won’t lie and say that I’m obedient and follow orders at all times. Nope. I do not. But I did better today than yesterday. And don’t get me started on last week!
The point is we’re all trying to navigate far from normal times. This site and my blog will be a place to share our hearts with humor and hope.
Look forward to hearing from you soon.
-Kat
Welcome to my blog!
Welcome. My name is Kat Merrigan, author of I’m Not Crazy; I’m a Christian. I’m so happy to have you as a visitor to my blog about my new book. This project is very special to me, and I hope to share some of that excitement with you here.
I’ll be using this blog to interact with you about I’m Not Crazy; I’m a Christian, expanding on some of the topics in it and blogging on some of the ideas related to my book. This is a great place for you to get to know me, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you, too. What did you think of I’m Not Crazy; I’m a Christian? What questions do you have for me? How do you relate to my book?
I’ll be returning here frequently with new posts and responses to feedback from you. Until next time, tell me a little bit about yourself.
Recent Comments